Coming Undone

I never had a fucking chance, no matter what you say,

Every turn, every breath, he has been here every day.

Maybe not physically but buried deep behind your eyes.

No matter how much love I give, he still lives within your lies.

 

In my ignorance, I disregarded, overlooked, and tried to ignore,

The fact that the thought of him overwhelmed you with amour.

So often you pranced and danced to the tune of his selfish song,

Leaving me, not caring about me, telling me I was wrong.

 

Second best is all I am, and it is all I will ever be,

Might as well tuck my tail and smile like a fool full of glee,

Hey, I am just the one that loves and worries and needlessly needs,

It makes sense that I should also be the only one that bleeds.

 

But, with all the tainted words that escaped your putrid tongue,

Were you really so stupid to not understand how deep it stung?

In the end, though you’re gone, there are remnants everywhere,

In memories, and nightmares, and his stench still within your hair.

 

Someone better is out there, and I know my heart will mend,

No longer will I suffer, I will permit myself to love again.

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10 thoughts on “Coming Undone

  1. Not sure where you pulled the emotion from for this poem, but I truly hope you found a cig to flick when you were done. Strong. Someone read this and felt the urge to move forward, as well.
    Enjoying your poetry, Joshua. You should post more once your life/book promo settles down. ( I’d click the like button on every one I’ve read, but WordPress via smartphone won’t allow me tonight. Its being finicky. )

    • It would be a long story to tell. Whether personal experience or vicariously known, it is a story I have painfully watched play out among humankind. There is so much that we must do to grow as a species, it really saddens me sometimes. But, we will make progress – I am sure of it. Someday, we will advance beyond this suffering – hurting one another – living selfishly and dependent on our own emotional turmoil.

      Anyways, I am really glad that you like my poetry. I have another hundred or so that I have not posted yet. It is a good place for expression but I don’t feel as inclined to always share poetry. 🙂

      • Not many better things to do than hope. 🙂 Always hold onto hope.

        And, I don’t mean to give the impression that I won’t post it. I am very thrilled that you appreciate my poetry. It seems that many, many folks write poetry on WordPress. I have found that folks generally read the short blurbs then the longer pieces of poetry. Keeps me from posting it as frequently.

        Did I mention that your poetry is equally inspiring and I am also a fan? You are very good with your word choice. I don’t think poetry is as valued as it once was – probably because the saturation of the market…I digress.

        Have a wonderful night, Audrey. I am getting back to writing. Only have a couple thousand words done so far.

      • Very kind of you, Joshua. I think poets write for themselves mostly…mine is written in an effort to learn how to express my feelings. Something I have never been good at, but choose to work on. WordPress is full of poetry, and it has a following, but I’m not educated on their underground world nor where the saturation feedings take place. I think I piss a lot of serious poets off, as I don’t follow the training. Anyway…blah blah blah. Thanks for the compliment.

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